Though She May Seem Gone

I walk through the flowers

I walk through the trees

I walk through the sunlight

I walk through the breeze

I walk through a door

And into a room

Where there are no flowers

There are no trees

There is no sunlight

There is no breeze

But there is a woman

And she is a friend

A wonderful person

Whose life will soon end

In this room there is laughter

In this room there is hope

These people are happy

These people don’t mope

These people join hands

And say their goodbyes

And when she is ready

My friend peacefully leaves

Now there is sorrow

Now there is gloom

And shaking with sobs

I walk out of the room

I walk through the flowers

I walk through the trees

I walk through the sunlight

I walk through the breeze

I walk with a smile

Wipe a tear from my eye

For though she may seem gone

My friend did not die

She is the flowers

She is the trees

She is the sunlight

She is the breeze.



Claire Huckenpoehler

Second Place
Poetry
State of Maryland International Reading Association Council
High School Young Authors Program

Happy 2009!

I have been asked repeatedly if I will update this blog again. I had not thought about it much until recently, but it seemed to be a chapter in our lives that had closed. We're moving on with the memory of Sandy alive and well in our hearts. Even so, it remains a great tool through which to communicate and I can tell you that the blog will take diverging paths now.

Soon, the web site for the Sandra M Hicklen Foundation will launch and that will be an important continuum. The artwork, the layout, the look and feel of the site are complete. We're adding content and a few pictures in preparation for the launch and plan to make it available to you very soon. You will be able to read about the Foundation, keep up on the schedule of events, make donations, and so on. An announcement will be posted here as soon as it goes live.

Happy 2009!

The Sandra M. Hicklen Foundation

8 minutes on YouTube from Saturday Night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C1h-PZw_zA

What a wonderful evening on Saturday! The memorial and celebration was full of memories, full of some laughter and tears, and full of celebration for Sandy's life. I was very proud of the event, and very proud to see families and friends come together for it.

Thank you to everyone--all 500 of you-- who joined us at Genesee Valley. Thank you to every one who participated from more remote areas, as well. Toasts were raised in Sandy's honor from beaches along the east coast, homes in the Midwest and Canada, California, and countless other places.

There was a tremendous effort by "volunteers" to pull Saturday's event together. I cannot begin to thank everyone individually, but trust me when I tell you that the pictures, the caterer, the flowers, the help from parking attendants, even the use of the property at Genesee Valley would not have happened without the spectacular effort from many family and friends. I simply could not have done it without you, and your efforts allowed me to focus on my family and to prepare myself and others for Saturday. I will forever be grateful.

On Saturday, I proudly announced the formation of the Sandra M. Hicklen Foundation, Incorporated. The foundation’s status as a 501(c)3 non-profit is pending. Your donations are tax deductible while 501(c)3 status is pending. Please check back regularly for updates on the mission and activies of this exciting, new charitable foundation.

Donations can be sent to:


The Sandra M. Hicklen Foundation, Inc.
c/o Ballard Spahr Andrews & Ingersoll, LLP
300 East Lombard Street
Baltimore, MD 21202

A Memorial & Celebration - Updated

UPDATED

Saturday, July 12, 2008, 7pm

Genesee Valley Outdoor Learning Center

Please check the blog frequently for possible updates.

Update (7/9):

1) Car pools are encouraged to keep parking requirements to a minimum. Additionally, there is a Park-n-Ride just west of I-83 on Middletown Road. It is easy to meet and carpool over from there.

2) Seating for 200 will be provided, and indications are that attendance will exceed this number. People may consider bringing folding/camp chairs.

I will post instructions for donations in lieu of flowers... I just have not gotten around to that yet. Thanks for your patience.

Memorial will be followed by refreshments and Andy Nelson's World Famous BBQ

We're doing our level best to estimate the number of people...we sincerely hope that you all get to eat! (If not, thanks for your understanding)

What To Wear
Please note that Sandy's wish was for people to dress in what she liked to call "Summer Brights." No dark suits and ties...

Guys: comfortable shorts or slacks are fine, colored shirts are great
Gals: Sandy referred to "Lilly"as the example during these conversations-- wear your favorite bright and festives, with fun colors.


Where to Go
Directions to Genesee Valley http://www.geneseevalley.org/contact/directions/
Take the first entrance to Genesee Valley that appears on your left as you approach. It will be marked clearly and parking attendants will direct traffic.

Where to Stay
The nearest hotels to Genesee Valley are in Hunt Valley and Cockeysville, Maryland.

Hunt Valley/Cockeysville (between Genesee Valley and Towson)
Marriott Hunt Valley
Courtyard by Marriott
Hampton Inn
Crowne Plaza North Hunt Valley

Towson (closer to our home; the Inner Harbor of Balto. is about 10 miles south of Towson)
Sheraton Baltimore North
The Berkshire Marriott Hotel

Two Good Days

We have had two good days. That's not a bad start, if you ask me.

Today, Hannah and Haley joined me, Beth (Sandy's sister), Bobby (her brother), and Sandy's parents, Mac and Gerry, to walk the grounds at Genesee Valley Outdoor Learning Center. Our dog, Riley, joined us, and I was glad to have him by my side. The family that owns Genesee Valley has been long time friends and their place has come to have significant meaning to our family over the years.

We did this to scope out a place to hold the memorial. A collective decision could have been a dicey endeavor for a group that is so emotionally raw, but it is important to me that we all did it. It was a positive experience-- I actually enjoyed it and we were unanimous in our opinions that this facility is completely consistent with Sandy's intent.

Hannah and Haley embraced the activity with smiles and memories of their mom. They are certain that this will be an ideal setting where we can all gather to recognize our loss and share in the celebration. We covered a lot of ground-- the facility is large, with over 300 acres of varied terrain in rural, northern Baltimore County. The property includes open fields and hills, ponds, and woods. Riley embraced the streams and ponds, in particular.

It was Sandy's wish that she have a memorial, not a funeral. She asked that it be held outside and be marked by celebration. No dark clothes allowed-- just "summer brights," as she called them. I will share more details about her wishes as our plans are confirmed. Know that all are welcome to join us in the spirit of celebration.

Please check this site over the next 1-2 days as details are finalized. The intention is to hold the memorial & celebration at Genesee Valley during the evening of Saturday, July 12th, or Saturday, July 26th. Thank you for understanding that our schedule is pretty complicated right now. I am working to finalize plans as quickly as possible and look forward to sharing the time together.

My Heavy Heart

It is with an incredibly heavy heart that I must report that Sandy passed away on Tuesday evening while at Gilchrist/Hospice of Baltimore in Towson, Maryland. She fought every inch, every second, including the final seconds of her life. I am so proud of her.

In a cruel irony, my mother also passed away last evening in Bay Harbor, Michigan, after her fight against lung cancer for the last two and one half years. "Dotto," as her four grandchildren affectionately called her, was a non-smoker.

Losing two loved ones in less than twenty-four hours is damned tough. This has been the saddest and most difficult day of my life, but your support helps. I hope that I will be able to share more with you through this blog at some time. Right now, the girls and I are just very, very sad.

We're In Crisis Mode Now

I’ll confess that I have initiated a number of new blog entries over the last month and I have not completed one of them. The volume of words I have typed over the last thirty days easily surpasses, by an order of magnitude, that of any month since I began this blog.

The distressing news about Sandy has only increased, and seems inversely proportional to the ease with which I can communicate it.

The topics in each of the attempts were far reaching, including Hannah’s recent trip to Ohio to play for the Maryland U-13 lacrosse team, a recent NBAC swim meet, and Haley’s gymnastics injury. Her spinal injury could be an entry by itself. They included lacrosse tournaments for both girls’ SkyWalkers teams and mine, and the successful completion of the school year by both girls (with tremendous performances by both—we can forgive a single B in chorus, right?). Also during this time, all four of us went to Michigan to visit my mom as her health was declining. It was a warm, positive experience for all of us, despite the underlying sadness. I started to share the eerily parallel experience, as my mom struggles with the final moments of her war with cancer. As you would also expect, there were several attempts to synthesize Sandy’s struggles into bite size pieces, digestible by all. I get half way through, and the indigestion is prohibitive.

Simply put, we have been in crisis mode. Sandy was admitted to a Hospice inpatient facility late this afternoon. This was after several days of decline, where the pain and discomfort became overwhelming. Sandy was scheduled to have a single dose of radiation on the vertebra at C3 today, because of her broken neck, but she was just too sick to get out of bed and make it to Hopkins for treatment. When she finally made it out of bed at around noon, she collapsed on the floor. The medications are inadequate to manage her pain, and it became necessary to intensify the focus and attention to her comfort. She could only get this in an inpatient facility with consistent nursing attention.

As of this writing, we are hopeful that her discomfort can be managed effectively. We will take measures to prepare the house for her return, hopefully very soon. It is a terribly sad process to witness.

I apologize for how discontiguous this post must appear. As you probably gather, the crisis only deepens.

Please check back. I will try to fill in some of the gaps and keep this site updated.

Update on Kristina's Race & Couer D'Alene Link

Just in case you want to check on my "progress", my race number is 2297. So if you log into the Ford Coeur d'Alene Ironman, you can watch live stream. Don't expect me to finish before you go to bed though...I'll be on Pacific Coast Time.

http://www.ironmancda.com/

Yee Haw!!!

Kristina